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Okay, it may not be hard for anybody else. But I have struggled with it for years. All the advice I have read or been told can be summed up as, “Prayer is just talking to God.” I’ve even repeated that to other people. My secret problem with prayer was that I was never sure what to say.

Listening to other people pray did nothing for my self-confidence in this area. Pastors, especially, always say such eloquent prayers. Even when called on for an impromptu prayer, they never seem at a loss for words. And many other people always seem comfortable praying in group situations.

I have never been comfortable praying even in private. How could I be sure I was saying the right thing?

I was grappling with this problem again recently, and God brought some verses to my mind. Jesus told his disciples not to worry ahead of time what to say. “Just say whatever is given to you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit.” (Mark 13:11)

He was talking about when they would be arrested and hauled before the authorities, but I think this applies to prayers, too. I shouldn’t worry about what to say or how to word it. The Holy Spirit will help me.

Paul said so, too. “The Spirit helps us in our weakness,” he told the Roman church members. “We don’t know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” And the Spirit intercedes for us in accordance with God’s will, he added. (Romans 8:26-27)

The Bible tells us that we should ask for things “in God’s will.” Jesus himself taught us that we should say “thy will be done” when we pray. And he told us a way to know if something is within God’s will, the two commands that sum up what God most wants from us: love God with all your heart, all your mind and all your soul, and love your neighbor as yourself. So if I wonder whether something I am about to say or do is within God’s will, I can pause and ask: Does this honor God? Does it show love for my neighbor?

I have figured out that being a Christian means that I never stop learning. God has plenty of lessons to teach me. I’m sure I will be learning up until the very moment I step into heaven — and maybe even after. I know I still have lots to learn about prayer. My prayer for all of us is that we can learn that the first thing to do in any situation is — ask God. And be prepared for an answer.